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Listen, most of the shit you see in movies and TV simply isn’t true anymore. We don’t all live on ranches down dirt roads. What is true is that most of us are damn proud of our Texan heritage, even if some people in high places might color other people’s opinions. That said, as with any other group of people that are frequently stereotyped, we’re sick of being asked the same dumb ass questions. Just stop already. In fact, I’ve provided some answers should you feel tempted to ask any of these in the future.
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Weird flex, but yeah.
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Counting your mom last night?
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Chicks dig the accent.
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Being a resident of Austin, I see more snow than Santa Claus.
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Have you ever taken a shit in a Buc-ee’s? I prefer it to my own toilet.
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Only that one time I was riding your sister and yelled your mom’s name and tried to hold on for 8 seconds.
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No, but we all have a richer friend who does…
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Have you tried driving across Texas? 85 might not be fast enough.
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Only in the movies. What are they like?
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Honestly, it seems like a different country up there.
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I want to say no, but yes. Yes it really is. And it’s fucking glorious.
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I’ve had Tex-Mex in other states. I’m gonna go with no you don’t.
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Football. Have you heard of it?
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Left them on the cow.
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It’s better than being obsessed with Avocado toast, Karen!
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