1
Let’s all be honest here, for a second. The first date isn’t the place to make first impressions; it hasn’t been for a long time. You know why? Because our entire lives are on the internet and the second that someone swipes right on you, they’re moving over to your social profiles and learning everything there is to know about you. Or, they might creep you before deciding to swipe at all.
So you know that video of you jumping off the roof, naked, with a firecracker stuck up your rectum? That one? She knows. But on the plus side, she still agreed to the date. That’s a plus.
2
According to the 2,000 Americans that were surveyed, everyone always does research – close to 40%. Only 11% decided that they like the surprise.
That’s surprising.
3
Frankly, I’d be worried about anyone that spends more than 20 min looking up my shit. A deeper dive than that suggests some serious trust issues.
I’m not worth 45 min of googling. I’m just not that interesting.
4
It’s surprising that the second most popular answer was even before the initial contact, with a whopping 33%. I’d be more of a 2nd date kind of person, only because I’d be thrilled with a surprise or two.
It’s a boring life on this side of the computer.
5
This seems pretty standard; Facebook does have pretty much all the info on hand to determine if someone is a serial killer or even a serial date dine n’ dasher.
But that 8% that’ll dole out some cash to access paid directories; that’s a bunny boiler waiting to happen.
6
This makes me nervous. Over half of the people will scroll all the way back to the early days of Facebook, Instagram and the history of mankind to get to know what you’re all about.
I don’t even know what my first post on Facebook even was. Might have been something about cats, but I don’t have the patience to scroll back that far.
I don’t know if I should be scared or flattered that she’d go back that far.
7
I’d say reverse image searching is taking things to a new level. I don’t even want to know what’s gonna show up.
8
And here we go; what do we want to know? I’m definitely down with learning about interests and seeing how I compare to her exes. That’ll help to know if this is going somewhere, or nowhere.
Interestingly enough, women want to know if we’re employed and/or criminals, while guys just want to know what she’s into.
I’m assuming we’re ok if she’s a homeless, unemployed ex-con, then?
9
Surprisingly enough, we’re a benevolent sort of people and we’ll continue on with the date, regardless of what our research shows. Unless they’re a criminal or interested in the Juggalo lifestyle. That’s a turn-off.
10
I guess this would depend on what they’ve learned. Anything easily discoverable on the ‘net is fine. What’s written on the inside of my favourite pair of boxers, or a private message I sent my brother, is taking things to a creepy, stalker level.
11
This one seems pretty common. It’s easy to fudge the weight and living sitch question online, but in reality, the truth will come out.
12
These numbers here don’t surprise me. I can’t recall the last time I heard of someone relying on meet-cutes, dating events or anything other than an app or dipping into your pool of contacts for dates.
13
Most people are doing well here; 28% have gone on a first date and had casual relationships arise from there, while others have a lot of first dates, and few serious relationships.
14
Now we’re talking… the fantasy world. Most people will spread their imaginary wings and create what the relationship will look like in their minds, and hope that it lives up to it.
Sadly, in the real world, she’s never been a secret bikini model/lion tamer/heiress to the Post-it Fortune, who can’t resist my charms.
15
Again, not surprising: most will prefer to text over talking, when leading up to that first date. It helps when I can craft an appropriate response, rather than just say the stupid shit that first comes to mind.
I’m strangely awkward like that and will probably nervously drop the fact that I Googled the shit out of her, in order to impress.
16
Did I impress you, Carol?
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