Useful Tips For Complete A-Holes (22 pics)

Sleep at work with your head down as if you're praying. If caught, raise your head and say, "In Jesus' name, amen." Your boss will be too paranoid of legal ramifications to yell at you. 

Wear military insignia at a country bar to get free drinks all night.

If you're too scared to walk up to that hot girl and ask her out, picture her immediately after eating tainted Taco Bell, sweating bullets on the can.

Avoid work by telling your boss that your brother recently came out of the closet and you need to support him while he informs your parents. If you need to skip another day, tell your boss your father broke both your brother's legs and you're in the hospital with him.

Place parking cones around your vehicle while illegally parked. Authorities will assume other authorities put them there.

Go to a hippie concert and sell brownies for $10 a pop. The hippies will think they're filled with pot. An hour later when they feel nothing, you will be long gone, counting your money (and they won't call the cops because they're the stoners).

If you're drinking and driving (ice cold sodas, of course) and don't have a pesky bottle opener, use a seat belt.

Walk next to a minority if you're shoplifting. When the alarm goes off, guess who they're going to check?

Strap on a SARS mask whenever you use public transportation. No one will want to sit next to you, and you can avoid their germs, as well.

Too poor to buy a grill? Steal a shopping cart.

Right before a huge test, email everyone in class. Tell them you've created a masterful study guide and that you'd like to compare notes. Once you've gotten theirs, mysteriously disappear.

If you've hit a parked car, get out and write a note on the hood that says, "If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go, I can show you things you ain't never seen before. Swaggy." Everyone in the vicinity will assume you're writing a note like a responsible citizen, when in reality, you're writing lyrics to a Justin Bieber song.

When you're having a rough day and you'd like to blow off some steam, flip off a baby. The baby can't fight back, and the gesture is cathartic.

Save on cleaning supplies by rubbing your cat on the floors of your home.

Visit Costco and hit up the free samples. Double back three or four times because the servers are usually decrepit old ladies who won't remember you.

To avoid paying for parking, walk to the entrance before you get into your car and press the button for a new ticket. When exiting, insert the new ticket into the slot. Unless there's some Johnny Law parking attendant watching your every move, you get free parking.

Remaining silent is one of the most effective ways to get information out of someone. If that doesn't work, waterboard them.

Always carry fart spray in your car. In the case that you get pulled over by a cop, tell him you have IBS. If he doesn't budge, while he's back in his cruiser entering your information, pull out a jar of Nutella and rub it on your fingers as proof. Say, "Please, officer, please," while holding your stomach. He'll let you off. If he doesn't, he's Satan in the flesh.

If you're in a crowded bar and there's no place to sit, hit on a hot girl. Tell her that you like the way she smells and that she has a pretty mouth. She will leave, and you can take her seat.

Enter every fruit as bananas at self-checkout machines. Bananas are the cheapest by a huge margin, and self-checkout machines don't have eyes.

Tell your mother that your voicemail is broken. This can save you hours per week.

Don't pay for textbooks. Use Google.

Fascinating Facts About Twins That Will Make Your Jaw Drop (16 pics)

Twins that are exact reflections of each other are called “Mirror Image” Twins. They often develop directly facing each other, meaning they become exact reflections of each other. 

Twins can live very similar lives. Even twins separated at birth have reconnected to learn their interests and careers are very similar.

Identical twins can make master criminals because their DNA is 99.9% identical, the only difference being their fingerprints.

It is possible for twins to have different dads. If two eggs are dropped by the woman in one month, two different men can fertilize them.

Identical twins do not have identical fingerprints. The fingerprints do start the same but when the twins start to move, they touch the amniotic sac, which forms unique ridges and lines.

Being left-handed is twice as common in twins than in single individuals.

Taller people have more growth hormones and those hormones help increase the chances of twins.

It is also found that mothers who drink more dairy are more likely to give birth to twins.

In the womb, twins start reaching for each other as early as 14 weeks.

A woman with a twin is more likely to give birth to twins.

Twins can be born weeks or even months apart. The current record for separate births sits at 87 days.

If conjoined twins use the same thalamus, they can often see or hear using the other’s organs.

One of the easiest ways to tell twins apart is their belly buttons.

 

Mixed race couples can produce twins that are two different races.

Imagine Male 1 and Male 2 are twins. So are Female 1 and Female 2. If Male 1 and Female 1 have kids together, and so do Male 2 and Female 2, then Pair 1’s offspring would obviously be considered the cousins of Pair 2’s offspring. But since they would have the same genetic material, they could all be considered siblings.

Mothers of twins often have longer lives than moms of individual kids.

Heartbreaking And Powerful Photo Of Parents Both On Life Support Saying Goodbye To Each Other (8 pics)

Jim Minnini, 58, has was diagnosed with lung cancer and has been fighting it with the support of his caring sons and a loving wife, Cindy Ireland, for eight years. But his condition worsened in the last few months. 

Cindy worried so much about her husband that she suffered a heart attack and was put on life support herself. First they were in the different hospitals but his dad's last wish was to see his wife once again before he dies.

They were married for 23 years and Jim was "adamant" he wanted to be with his wife in his final moments. That was the first time in the history of hospital that they accepted two patients on life support to be brought into the same room to be together.

Some People Have Really Bizarre Sexual Fantasies (18 pics)

How Tea Prevents Arterial Aging

Our endothelium, the inner lining of our blood vessels that controls the function of every artery in our body, “appears to play a critical role in a variety of human disorders, including peripheral vascular disease, stroke, heart disease, diabetes, insulin resistance, chronic kidney failure, [cancer, and blood clots]….”

Unfortunately, endothelial cells only live about 30 years, and their replacements don’t seem to function as well. So, “[a]s men and women approach the ages of 40 and 50, there is a progressive decline in endothelial function.” At age 50 or 60, we “can no longer tolerate this risk-factor burden that [we] were once able to tolerate at age 10 or 20,” thanks to this progressive decline in endothelial function.

However, there is increasing data to suggest that age is not an immutable risk factor—the decline in artery function is not just an inevitable consequence of aging.

Researchers did not see the same progressive decline in a Chinese population studied. The older Chinese people in their 60s had the arterial function of young folks in their 20s. “These data suggest that progressive endothelial dysfunction is not an inevitable consequence of aging but might be related to prolonged exposure to environmental factors more prevalent in westernized countries than in China.” What could it be? 

Traditional Chinese diets include green tea, which has been shown to have a beneficial effect on endothelial function within 30 minutes of consumption, lasting about two hours. It wasn’t the caffeine, which alone had no effect. They suspect it was the flavonoid phytonutrients in the leaves.

Black tea appears to work about just as well as green tea, but then why is green tea associated with lower heart disease risk while black tea is not? In fact, in two British studies, tea consumption was associated with an increased risk of coronary artery disease. Maybe it’s because the Brits commonly drink their tea with milk, whereas green tea is typically drank straight? If only there were a country that drank black tea, but without milk. There is. The Netherlands. In those studies, black tea was associated with the same drop in risk as the green tea studies. So, maybe it is the milk. But you can’t really know until you put it to the test.

Researchers found the “addition of milk to black tea completely prevents the biological activity of tea in terms of improvement of endothelial function.” So, that could explain it. It appears the milk protein casein is the culprit, though soy protein was recently found to have the same nutrient binding effect.

The European Society of Cardiology issued a press release about the study showing the protective effect of tea “is totally wiped out by adding milk” and suggested consumers should consider cutting down. Milk-drinkers were not amused: “As long as the reported results are not confirmed in a fair number of humans who drink their tea outside the lab setting, we will continue to add milk to ours.” The researchers responded, challenging the notion that their study wasn’t big enough. They had 16 subjects, and the results were highly significant. Across those 16 people, the “addition of milk to tea not only reduced, but completely blunted the effects of tea….The rationale for drinking tea in a lab setting was that only under these conditions could the influence of other beverages and food be controlled for.”

They were doing an experiment after all. Were they supposed to drag the equipment to a Starbucks or something? “As doctors,” the milky tea drinkers asserted, “we would not prescribe a new drug to patients if it was studied only in one small study. In analogy, milk abstinence should not be recommended to tea drinkers…” They apparently were forgetting that the reason we don’t prescribe drugs without overwhelming evidence is that drugs can kill. So the benefits better outweigh the risks, but what’s the downside of a little milk abstinence?