Monday, 17 July 2017

A mom says it’s alright if parents curse in front of their kids, but not everyone is on board

A woman in Australia is making the case for cursing in front of children.
Constance Hall, an Australian blogger and mom, shared her theories in a Facebook post that went viral, and “Today” further added to the discussion.

In the post, Hall points out that she has let some unconsidered swear words slip while in the presence of her children, but she feels the cursing isn’t a big issue. Hall said she doesn’t need to teach her children they can’t use swear words, and that they instinctively know it isn’t allowed.
“But my kids have never sworn. They know mum can, we can’t,” Hall wrote in the post.
She added that one of her children has begun to curse, but she believes it was influenced by friends, not her.
A “Today” poll on Twitter found that 67 percent of 3,252 voters do not agree with Hall. But the show’s child development expert, Dr. Deborah Gilboa, backs up her claims.
“The rule here is: You can swear. But you can’t swear where an adult or a child younger than you can hear,” Gilboa said. “Treating people respectfully matters, so if they feel swearing around them is disrespectful, don’t do it.”
Read an edited excerpt from the post below:
I even sometimes swear in front of my kids. I justify it to myself be saying I only ever swear for emphasis, I never swear at anyone.
You’ll never catch me calling someone a name or screaming [expletive.]
It’s the [expletive] when you you’ve gotten everyone in the car and are pulling out of the drive way when you smell a baby decided now was the perfect time to drop a [expletive].
Or the [expletive] at the pain that an innocent babies soft little lips can shoot through your body when latching onto [you].
[…]
But my kids have never sworn. They know mum can, we can’t.
I barely even needed to teach them that, it was instinctual. Adult words and they rarely repeated them despite the odd hilarious moment in the supermarket..
But recently, to my surprise Arlo has been dropping a few bombs..
And as it turns out, his new mates don’t mind throwing around these particular words and their all rocking out feeling cool [because] they said [expletive].
Does it bother me? Not much, meanness would bother me more. I certainly don’t encourage it, have pulled him up on it and he appears to have stopped.
But I realized something pretty important. Arlo is reaching an age where his friends have a greater influence on him then I do, he copies them, loves them dearly and gets empowered by them.
I read about that once, about how you will come to a time where your children get their power from their mates and there isn’t much you can do about it, you need to let them discover who they are in a group of peers. That’s socializing.
And it’s beautiful.
But what we can do is teach them how to recognize qualities that we respect. Point out, “How kind was Charley lending you his drink bottle?” And “did you see how Sam helped out that younger kid?” “I love the way Sophia is always making funny jokes.”
So while it’s important to say, “Don’t swear. It’s not cool,” it’s equally important to teach your kids to strive to find friends with similar moral codes to your family.
That way when they do ignore you and run off with their mates, they are in good hands, maybe cheeky ones, maybe sweary ones, but good ones none the less.
Because our house hold might be a sweary one, but it’s a […] kind one, and it’s full to the brim with love.

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