Thursday, 29 June 2017

Lactose Intolerant Man Calls Out Starbucks In Hilarious Post From His Toilet

Demit Strato, a man from New York, recently took to the official Starbucks Facebook page to inform them that he was currently attached to his toilet. Why? Strato explains it best...

"This is the second time I ordered a Venti Iced Coffe with Soy Milk this month where the Soy Milk request was ignored and regular milk was instead used," the man explains. 
"I've pooped 11 times since the A.M. My bottom hurts from all the wiping. Do you think I enjoy soy milk? Does anyone enjoy soy milk? Really? I don't order soy mill because I'm bored and want my drink order to sound fancy. I order soy milk so that my bottom doesn't blast fire for 4 hours. I'm not a Charmander. Thank you for listening to my rant."
And of course, he let everyone know where he was writing the post from. 
"P.S. I'm writing this from the comfort OF MY TOILET."
While Strato probably isn't having much fun, Facebook users found the post hilarious. It's since been shared over 35,000 times and garnered more than 110,000 comments. 
“This is so true,” one lactose intolerant commenter wrote. “Sometimes I just order knowing what is to come because lets face it, whole milk makes coffee taste better, and soy is disgusting. So once in a while I order whole milk and let all hell break loose for the taste.” 
Apparently this is a pretty common issue, with another commenter adding: 
"While I admittedly laughed at this complaint for simply the way it's worded, I have to agree with Demit 1000%. I have ordered my coffees and specifically told them soy. People who don't regularly consume dairy products can absolutely tell when they've ingested dairy. It is certainly not pleasant.  Take better care, Starbucks."
While Poo-Pourri, a company that makes deodorizing toilet sprays, saw it as an opportunity. 

“Oh crap! We would love to send you some Poo-Pourri to help with your toilet drama,” the company wrote. 
Starbucks has responded to Strato privately. Hopefully he gets soy next time.  


  1. Familiar with the experience on the loo, though for different reasons. I hope it doesn't happen to this person again, and the barista needs another job.

  2. Thats what ya get for going to Starbucks ---
    Holding a starbucks cup in your hand is the same as holding an "L" to your forehead.
    We all knew Starbucks was not getting so RICH so FAST by being HONEST
    Starbucks uses GMO Corn Syrup in their drinks when MOST other franchises use pure cane sugar.......which is "real" sugar not cancer causing GMO like US Corn.
    Starbucks uses non-organic milk from factory farms
    Starbucks peddles mostly non-organic, GMO (junk) foods and drinks
    Starbucks is a member of the Grocery Manufacturers Association (which spends millions a year trying to block product labeling)
    Starbucks fails the Fair Trade test
    Starbucks is negotiating “free trade” in secret
    And speaking of Starbucks with its eco friendly, etc., coffee, I was speaking to an Ethiopian the other day and he told me that Starbucks, while touting that they are providing economic opportunity to workers, etc. (you've heard it all before...), what they are really trying to do is to take over the coffee production and pay the workers a pittance...and they do now! Then they go around talking about how great they are. Since that conversation, I buy Ethiopian coffee on line, and NOT from the white distributors in America, DIRECTLY from Ethiopians!!!
    Starbucks, another wolf in sheep's clothing!
    Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz can’t seem to find the love — in anyplace but the Starbucks board of directors. That board last January moved to make Schultz the highest-paid CEO in the Pacific Northwest for the fourth straight year. But Schultz remains deeply despised in Seattle for selling away the city’s pro hoops team after taxpayers refused to build him a new arena. And in San Jose activists are now blasting Starbucks for seeking an exemption from having to pay the city’s $15.78 hourly living wage. Schultz, NerdWallet calculated last month, makes $9,637 an hour, 1,096 times the Starbucks average hourly rate. Looking for a Schultz take on all this? You'll find one in his 2011 memoir: “I love Starbucks because everything we've tried to do is steeped in humanity.”

  3. With the news in the last few days about E. coli (fecal) bacteria being found in Starbucks (and other) coffee, we cannot be sure that this was lactose-related. But it would be very un-PC to suggest that the real reason could be the kafir-hating Muslim refugee who puts shit in the cups.